Q: Hello, I am a young Jewish woman who is planning on building a life and a family with a Catholic man. He is not observant of his own religion, but wishes to remain Catholic out of respect for his parents. I also don't want him to convert to Judaism, as this is not who he really is, and I love him as he is.

We have talked it over many times, and our children will be Jewish (according to the halacha, since their mother is Jewish), but will also receive a Jewish upbringing and Jewish education and be Jews in all aspects. They will receive their Israeli nationality from me and will learn Hebrew and Ahavat Israel just as I did.

Considering this, and that our union will not stop the perpetuation of the Jewish people, is there any way that we could have a Jewish wedding? Is there any synagogue or rabbi who would accept to marry a "mixed" couple in the Jewish tradition? I want the Chuppah and the breaking of the glass and the Sheva Brachot and the Ketubah for my children to prove their mother was Jewish and to hear the words "Betabaat zo harey at..." said to me. Is this at all possible for me?

A: I think that marriage should be the way we solve our problems in life and not a way to organize incipient tragedy. When Jews and non-Jews marry it is almost always disastrous.

Even in Israel where identity is not soley based on religion, being the child of a non Jew who lives in the country, may not be pleasant. I mention this only because it is so difficult to evaluate the long-term effect on yourself and your children. It is true that a Jewish mother produces Jewish children, but a non Jewish father represents another world and tradition. Israelis are not always sensitive and accepting.

I understand that honoring his parents wishes is important, but for the sake of your children perhaps it would be wise to consider conversion.

Everything would be more relaxed.

Ну не может ортодоксальный рав, пытающийся при этом быть политкорректным,  достойно ответитить на такой вопрос. Просто не может. Для ответа ему придется либо продемонстрировать дремучий средневековый фундаментализм (на котором, собственно, и базируется его версия Иудаизма), либо ... Либо согласиться с тем,  что современная еврейская (а израильская - в еще бОльшей степени) реальность имеет мало точек соприкосновения с Галахой. А посередине получается наблюдаемое в цитированном тексте вякание. Такие вот дела. 

PS Скорее всего с такими равами одной еврейкой в мире станет меньше. Не будет ее еврейских детей, еврейских внуков и правнуков. Увы...

PPS Да, сразу оговорюсь: желания Хупы, Ктубы и спецсинагоги для смешанных пар звучат забавно и снижают серьезность задаваемого вопроса. Но, ИМХО, это только подчеркивает, что спрашивающая действует в рамках данного ей (очевидно - традиционного) воспитания. Она искренне ищет ответ там, где этого ответа нет и быть не может.